Dear Ed McMahon,
I can't believe you are gone. Opening up the mail and finding a Publisher's Clearing House mailer will never be the same. Who will come to give me my $10 Million? I miss you already.

Dear Farrah,
You were a hair goddess. I'm sorry you had to deal with cancer. I wish Charlie could have done more for you.

Dear Michael Jackson,
You were consistently weird, and consistently amazing. I hope you're at peace, and I hope you and God are rocking out. Maybe now you can do an actual moon walk...

-E

Well, well, well, Mr. Bush, I cannot say how glad I am to see you go. For the past 8 years, which has been most of my teen years, you have created a world that I have come to loathe. I suppose in a way I should thank you, you sparked in me an interest in politics that I may not have gained other wise. Also you gave my friends and I endless laughs at the ignorant things you said and did. That being said you are not forgiven. I resent you for ruining the "best years" of my life, I resent you for possibly limiting my options for the future, I resent you for the years of fear.

Dear Dubya:

Now that you're gone, I would like to express my extreme gratitude for leaving Americans with an extra 4 trillion dollars of debt your administration racked up over the past 8 years. You managed to wipe out my father's nest egg for retirement and made it impossible for me to find employment. Thank you for also leveling the playing field where more of the rich are now down here with us lowly citizens because they too lost so much money.

Dear Mr. President Bush,

8 years ago, I was 13 years old. I was 13, white, and lived in a VERY red state in southern America. But even as a young teenage girl, I recognized that you were not the best choice for President. That's right, I rooted for Al Gore. 8 years later, I am 21 and could finally vote in my first Presidential election. It's no mystery whom I voted for.

Ehrlich gesagt, ich glaube schon, dass George W. Bush das beste für sein Land und die gesamte Welt wollte. Die Entscheidungen, die er treffen musste, traf er nicht aus Willkür oder weil er bestimmten Menschen schaden wollte. Er tat das, was er für richtig hielt - und man sollte nie vergessen, dass besonders hinter dem US-Präsidenten eine ganze Armada von Beratern stand und steht. Von Lobbyisten, die in den USA hohes Ansehen genießen, mal abgesehen. Gerade seine engsten Mitarbeiter haben sich in den letzten Monaten im Hinblick auf die bevorstehende Wahl von ihm abgewandt. Und auch seine politischen Gefährten, die mit ihm zusammen saßen, die Entscheidungen getragen haben, werden heute nicht müde, sich von ihm abzugrenzen. Politischer Opportunismus in Reinkultur. Nur George W. Bush steht zu seinem Weg, seinen Entscheidungen. Ich bin fast versucht zu schreiben, dass ich ihn dafür ein stückweit bewundere. Es tut dabei nichts zur Sache, ob er es nun aus Starrköpfigkeit oder Mut tut - oder weil er den Point of no Return überschritten hat. Wenn ich dagegen den Wendehals John McCain sehe, wären 4 weitere Jahre George W. Bush die bessere Alternative.

Goodbye George W. Bush! And goodbye to the best eight years of non-stop comedy which I greatly enjoyed. Beware of those pretzels.

Dear President Bush

I couldn't have been more proud to be an American when you were elected. I know it was close but I was so glad to have the Clinton out. When we we're attacked you made a promise to America, and you kept that promise. No one wants to mess with us. You used our military to it's fullest and kicked the terrorist ass. We are more secure and safer today because of you. It doesn't matter that we didn't find the WMD i'm glad we took out Saddam. I mean you had to finish your father business.

Dear President Bush,

When you won your reelection in 2004, I wanted to send you a copy of George Orwell's classic novel, 1984. Because I thought that that action would put me on some kind of terrorist watch list, I didn't do it. Now that you're going to have some time off, I urge you to read it and see how many connections you can make between the story and your years in office. It's staggering. Thank you.

Dear Mr. Bush,

As you'll no doubt never read this, I feel there isn't much for me to say here. We all know you never read, and probably never use, the internet, but regardless this is more for everybody else than yourself.

President Bush, you were my commander-in-chief for eight long years. In that time, you had me respond to a wars abroad and crises at home. I’ve had to kiss my wife and daughter and say goodbye to them one too many times as I deployed to those conflicts. Now, I get to say goodbye to you – and as I do, I wonder how you will be judged as a Commander-in-Chief.